To avoid the destructive pattern of running to the local pub and ordering that ice cold mug of beer, Sara opted instead for the chocolates. Sobriety was great! However, it had come with some unexpected baggage. She knew she would deal with the emotional, deep trauma related things that one would assume pour out of the heart during the first years of sobriety but, the hip-growing, weight enhancing, newly acquired love for chocolate that had increased since the stint in rehab…well, that was unanticipated. The scale in the bathroom was beginning its own intervention.

Sara had become increasingly aware of her need to have chocolates in the place of the frothy, carbonated ale that used to quench her stirring emotions. Ironically enough, her emotional restlessness was usually triggered by the same things as when she drank: an unexpected visit from family, stress of the holidays, birthdays or work, etc. These ‘life’ experiences always inspired a purchase of little chocolate Gifts at the local bakery. Her palette preferred the chocolate Truffles but, who can afford those these days? Anyway, everyone knows it’s the cocoa that releases all that serotonin- not the actual type of chocolates eaten! To save on expenses Sara would settle for chocolate covered pretzels or raisins and despite thrifty purchase would still manage to extinguish the emotional chaos that rose up inside.

Sara managed a consistent flow of favorites though. Addiction tends to make others believe you are ‘fragile’ and so each time someone would visit or call on her, every holiday and birthday, someone would ask, very subtly, “can I bring you anything? Her response would always be the request of expensive chocolate Truffles (to spite the condescension) and, over time, everyone became very familiar with the request of chocolate Gifts. They would go out of their way to ensure she received it, those with extreme guilt would by the chocolate Truffles, those who just loved to please, a box of chocolates. There was usually a holiday every forty-five to sixty days and thus the chocolate Gifts hardly ran out. Sara was now starting to see the fruit of this labor and even the ‘fat clothes’ of comfort she wore to bed every night were beginning to show some chocolate fingerprints.

It was somewhat humorous to think that the chocolate Truffles were her new ‘brew’ of choice. Instead of spending ridiculous amounts of money in a bar, throwing away what little bit of self-respect she had left, she would tear into the bag of chocolate Truffles to satisfy the anxiety. Self- respect would still be in tact but the rear end looking more like a wide load. Chocolates were starting to take their toll. Fifteen pounds later and Sara was asking herself if her new addiction was better or worse than the one she had just overcome.

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